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Oct. 1st, 2005 @ 06:29 pm If i were to tell you i miss you, would i be lieing?
Current Mood: confused
Current Music: Nigga Music cuz im secretly Black yay weeve
Sometimes i kinda miss this. And then i realize what a waste of time it really is.
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Aug. 8th, 2005 @ 08:23 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: excited
Current Music: tears
JESSIE JUST ASKED ME TO GO TAKE A "RIDE" WITH HIM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and like a dumbass i said no! :( i miss my baby boo
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Jun. 20th, 2005 @ 03:37 pm Id give anything for some coke.
Why is everyone so goddamn depressed?? Go out. Party. Its the summer! Highschool next year. Did u really think drug dealers and broken bones and abusive people were gonna ruin my fun? Fuck them. This is my summer. My time to shine.
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May. 27th, 2005 @ 09:30 pm Ill be there 4 u is your there 4 me too
Current Mood: creative
Current Music: Like a kiss from a rose Seal
One Day we will look back on this and realize how stupid it was and laugh. Hard. I promise... But Did you know that when it snows my eyes become large and the light u shine can be seen?Like a kiss from a rose on the grey.
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May. 17th, 2005 @ 10:16 pm Open up your pretty brown eyes and look the hell around
Current Mood: content
Current Music: Graduation
Today was the last day of Middle school.8th grade.Being a Kid.Now were being forced to grow up.Ready or not.And its okay.Everyone was Crying and hugging.Ive never heard the words "Ilove you" or "ima miss you" That much in my life.I promised myself id make my last day fun.And i did. I managed not to burst into tear in the middle of everyclass.Instead i laughed and hugged and kissed. We grabbed everyone we ever knew out of the hall and snapped 100 pictures of them. Even Michael Delgato hugged me. "You know what, Im gonna miss you!" I almost died. 1st tear today. If only only he knew how much that ment comeing from him. Its crazy. Im never gonna see or speak to half of the people ive spent ever waking moment with for the last 3 years. And even tho i need a new start, It sux, Because ill never make friends this great.Thanx for being there ill never forget any of you, really. Keely walked me home from the bus stop She was telling me how everyone gave her a little peice of clothing or something that ment something to them to her to remember them by. Gary gave her his trench coat. Ray gave her his ring. Loaren gave her a wrist band.I took out my heart and ripped it in half."It'll never be whole again without you." I watched her walk away with Garys trenchcoat blowing in the wind.And at that moment she looked so beautiful. I know that after today i will prolly never speak to her again even tho she lives down the street. Weve changed.Grown apart.Theres nothing i can do now.And then the rain started falling and Graduation was playing on my ipod and i walked home so happy. Content. No one but cry was home.We cooked Chicken nuggets together 4 dinner. Its been awhile since weve even talked.Taday was sadly perfect. I love you .
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May. 14th, 2005 @ 09:56 pm And he leaned over and whispered sweet nothings into my ear.
Current Mood: nervous
Current Music: Killing me soflty
Please, Let it all be over. I need it all to be over. This is my excape.
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May. 14th, 2005 @ 09:22 pm This is the fabulous life of Megan Martinez:
Current Mood: never better
Current Music: surprisingly my chemical romance
As soon as the bell rang matina andrea and I frantically ran throgh the school cleaning out martinas locker and getting her yearbook.We were afraid we were going to miss the limo."Hi mary, Bye mary!!" I felt like such a celebrity.The limo had drinks,strobe lights, lights in the ceiling, Tvs the loudest radio ever!We kept rolling down the window to yell and wave at every car we saw. Mr.Bob the driver thought we were crazy. "I love you Megan ur dad is the best!" I was loved today. Im always loved.Waiting at the house were these bags full of things 4 the pool and cameras.We swam and had the most fun ever. Martina was freaking sergically attached to me lol. We hollered at all the guys and danced ontop of the dryers."I wanna do Robbie.Hard" lmao. We talked sbout everyone at school and ate soo much pizza, squeeze cheese and crackers. Some 40 yr old black man was in the hot tub with us and he was soo hitting on me. I was like "peace out ugo!" Then we killed Andreas mom 4 not letting her stay the night.We chopped up with an axe what a bloody mess. If you spend more than 5 minutes with that gurl youll c how fun and crazy she is. There is no way people can hate her.I love the way she smiles and laughs.Its so real like it couldnt ever be forced. We neglected emily and Hannah tho. I felt bad. KC and Martina stayed the night.I swear we were high from lack of sleep!! The stobe light was on and we danced until we couldnt stand. I didnt know people so small could eat soo much junk food!I used up like 195 pictures on them gurls lol.Martina and me got into a toothpaste fight and it got all up in my eye."For serious?" Im going to show up to the dance with so many bite marks bruises and black eyes. Everyone on earth tryed on my dress. they looked beautiful and for once nothing was negative. It was all just so fun and crazy. No one said how much they were gonna miss this or how everything and everyones gonna be forgotten because i know that i could never forget them. They are embedded into my memory forever. My bestest friends in the whole wide world. Im sorry u missed ur party katelyn.I have a secret to tell you kayla.Youll always be my diary.I wanted you guys to come.i really did. Spin the bottle its your turn.
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May. 10th, 2005 @ 07:44 pm To you this is just a good time but for me this is what i call life
Current Mood: high
Current Music: Zachowaj ten pokrowiec
Tight Work Ladies
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Apr. 30th, 2005 @ 03:43 pm I just wanna talk, why wont you listen???
Current Mood: confused
Current Music: With arms wide open
"Are you okay? Why do you seem so distant? Sad. Like you dont wanna talk to me anymore?"
"Alot of shit has been going on."
"Like what? please tell me, I just wanna help."
"theres nothing you can do"

Ever Since I started hanging out with her my reputation as the quiet good little girl (heh) has changed into a "slutty ass ho". Angela, Diamond and all the other black girls at school wanna kick are ass. "Stop stealing all our men!" They told us they were single.Anyways there just jealous. (I got Jacobys #. Hes soooooo cute.)

Ive decided i dont wanna be remembered as a ho. Or a smoker or a drugie. I dont wanna die. Some of my good friends like toyia, Helana, and Daymond were all up in our face. I dont wanna loose ne more friends.

"Were popular with all the niggas at C lunch" "You know you like the attention" Marcus wrote us this poem. It was hilarious. Nina knows Marcus and Marcus talks alot of shit so i know stuff is gonna get back to jessica and then Cry. "Stay good Megan, Dont turn into a lil fake ass ho like Nina" Too late.

"Hug Me"
"why?"
"cuz i needa big strong man to hold"

Shes fun and all but am i risking too much to be like her? Its not like im ever gonna get outa P-Park ne ways. By the time im 18 ima have two kids and no baby daddy to help me. I should just have fun while i still can right? Im just a kid.

"Seriously, How many guys have you fucked?"
"I dunno id have to think about it"
"1 2 3 4 5 6 7???"
"God I Dont Fucking know, Stop"

Really shes a good person, The funnest one i know . shes just caught up in a whirlwind of sex drugs and lies. I dont wanna be like that.But Im tired of being good. I wanna party and have fun too. Maybe ill be bad just for a little while. Im just trying to give a fuck about this shit. Ive skipped 4 classes today and maybe 8 all week. I am soo Tracy.
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Apr. 28th, 2005 @ 07:22 pm Aint no nigga like the 1 i got
Current Mood: depressed
Current Music: thats so raven
God Im Turning into Tracy
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Apr. 27th, 2005 @ 05:18 pm Like a bullet peircing your brain
Current Mood: pleased
Current Music: Aint no nigga
. . . And for one day, everything was ok. Maybe stars really are beautiful.
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Apr. 25th, 2005 @ 06:01 pm Its nights like these ill never forget
Current Mood: Hurt
Current Music: i hate everything about you
"Its hot in my room can i sleep with you?"
"sure"

We got up to make big glasses of scrawberry milk,our favorite.We turn nick at night on and watch old reruns of The Fresh Prince.But when there over we talk.And now its like before everything changed.When we used to just lay there in the dark with our eyes closed and tell eachother everything.Everything that mattered.Shes all i wanna be when i grow up.Sometimes i think that without her id die.

"I have alot of respect for ur mother."
I am so proud of my mom. To me she is my Dr.Matin Luther King Jr. "you cant help who you fall in love with" Sometimes i think she is the string that holds this family together and without her my whole world would fall apart.

"Why is he so over protective?"
I am his life.I worry that if i were to die that he would do something terrible like kill himself. Because i know id never be able to forgive him for that.And i wouldnt be able to live.Sometimes when im with him i feel like nothing bad could ever happen.

"My life is hell"
God, I love her more than she could know. Everytime i turn on the news im always afraid im gonna c her face. Another missing child that there gonna find dead. And i wonder what the last thing i said to her was. I hope that somehow it was I love you.

"I would give anything to have you back"
Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, U cant stop the tears from pouring down your cheeks.If you asked me what the most important thing in my life was, without hesitation id say My Family. And although we fight and are the worst influences in the world its alrright because nobodys perfect.

I just want to make this feeling go away. . .
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Apr. 23rd, 2005 @ 11:42 am I love these little qiuzzy thangs!
Current Mood: blank
Current Music: Shake that ass bitch
x\\ spell your name backwards: nagem
x\\ have you ever had a song written about you: once
x\\ what song makes you cry: Crossroads (alot of memories)
x\\ what song makes you happy: I Hate Everything About You
x\\ what's your all time fav. song?: Crossroads
x\\ what do you listen to before you go to sleep: 98.7
x\\ hair color: brown
x\\ piercings: ears want tongue ring tho
x\\ tattoos: i wish
x\\ what color pants are you wearing: light blue
x\\ what song are you listening to: O by Omarion
x\\ what taste is in your mouth?: Vanilla mint and Cinnimon
x\\ whats the weather like?: sunny
x\\ how are you?: im aiight i guess
x\\ get motion sickness?: Only when my dad drives
x\\ have a bad habit?: who dosnt?
x\\ get along with your parents?: Mostly
x\\ boyfriend/girlfriend: yes
x\\ have a current crush: yepper
x\\ have a big regret: oh yeah
Favorite . . .
x\\ tv show: House
x\\ conditioner: Dove
x\\ book: The giver
x\\ alchohol drink: Well Miller Highlife is a good beer
x\\ things to do on the weekend: movies or mall or Astro
Have You Ever . . .
x\\ broken the law:yep
x\\ ran away from home: Thought about.Helped someone
x\\ snuck out of the house: yeah
x\\ ever gone skinny dipping: haha yes
x\\ made a prank phone call: alot
x\\ tipped over a portapotty: no weirdo
x\\ use your parents credit card: all the time
x\\ skipped school before: yes
x\\ fell asleep in the shower/bath: no
x\\ been in a school play: My schools dont have plays
x\\ had a boyfriend/girlfriend: yes
x\\ had children: want some
x\\ been in love: No
x\\ have a hard time getting over someone: Still am
x\\ been hurt?: yes alot
x\\ gone out with someone you only knew for 3 days: Gone out? no Kissed yes
Random . . .
x\\ have a job: getting 1 this summer!!
x\\ your cd player has what in it right now: Mixed cd
x\\ if you were a crayon, what color would you be?: sky blue
x\\ what makes you happy?: My family
x\\ the next CD you're going to buy: ima download some songs
When/What Was the Last . . .
x\\ you got a real letter: yesterday
x\\ got an email: i dunno i dont check it
x\\ thing you purchased: a gatoraid and we sold it to neil!!
x\\ movie you saw in the theaters: Fever Pitch
x\\ song heard: American idiot
\\ place you were [ besides home ]: McDonalds
x\\ phone call: With my momma
x\\ you were depressed: Im not depressed just like "what the hell?"
x\\ you were in the hospital: last thursday
x\\ When/What Comes to Mind When You Hear . . .
x\\ car: red
x\\ murder: dead
x\\ cape: fly
x\\ penis: where? haha and Aaron and all his weirdness
x\\ cell: lets talk
x\\ shoe: stomp
x\\ fun: party
x\\ crush: secrets
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Apr. 21st, 2005 @ 07:00 pm Let me tell u something that u might like to hear
Current Mood: surprised
Current Music: goin crazy - natalie
#6 Aaron :)
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Apr. 17th, 2005 @ 06:04 pm How u doin little mama lemme whisper in your ear
Current Mood: discontent
Current Music: Grind with me
Do what you want now or youll regret not doing it later.
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Apr. 15th, 2005 @ 08:14 am I like it when u call me big popa throw your hands in the air if u a true playa!!
Current Mood: crazy
Current Music: grind on me
I want a baby. Only i dont want to actually give birth to one. So ive decided that someone should open a rental store for children, that way when u feel like a kid you can just rent one and return it when you are satified or cured.Whichever comes first.Better yet,open a rent to own,just in case you get attached.So if u keep the baby long enough its yours.Sorta like the end of late fees at blockbuster.Just watch, someone important is gonna read this and become a millionair off my ideas.
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Apr. 11th, 2005 @ 07:01 pm Im writeing this to keep from crying, but i am crying , only the tears wont come.
Current Mood: cranky
Current Music: A kiss from a rose
Today was a good self esteem day. Thanx Jessie. (He is not an Ugo.) No ones a virgin any more and its ok. Weve grown up so fast. We had to. Your all allowed to do whatever the fuck you want.Smoke Crack and worship Satan.I dont care, Apperently im not allowed to. U left two seconds to early. I needed someone to talk to. Whoever said best friends will always be there 4 u , didnt know mine.
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Apr. 10th, 2005 @ 09:14 pm Why dont you surprise me and MOVE OUT?
Current Mood: crushed
Current Music: Bone thugs
Mama's gotta have a life too.
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Apr. 1st, 2005 @ 02:59 am Whos says mexicans cant dance?
Current Mood: flirty
Current Music: ludacris - whats ur fantacy
I WANNA GET U IN THE BACK SEAT WINDOWS UP THATS THE WAY U LIKE TO FUCK FOG UP ALL ALERT RIP THE PANTS AND RIP THE SHIRT ROUGH SEX MAKE IT HURT IN THE GARDEN OR IN THE DIRT...I TOOK A WALK AROUND THE WORLD TO EASE MY TROUBLED MIND I LEFT MY BODY LIEING SOMEWHERE IN THE SANDS OF TIME. I WATCHED THE WORLD FLOAT TO THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOON I FELT THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO YEAH. (Whens the last time you danced like no one was watching?)
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Mar. 28th, 2005 @ 05:59 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: loved
Current Music: Going Crazy- Natalie
Guess whos haveing the best week ever on VH1.
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